Last night, Facebook shared a memory from 2017 when I celebrated my birthday by attending a reading with Anne Lamott for her memoir Hallelujah Anyway. I’d just turned forty-three and was still recovering from Lyme disease.
Hallelujah Anyway opens with:
There are times in our lives—scary, unsettling times—when we know that we need help or answers but we’re not sure what kind, or even what the problem or question is. We look and look, tearing apart our lives like we’re searching for car keys in our couch, and we come up empty-handed. Then when we’re doing something stupid, like staring at the dog’s mismatched paws, we stumble across what we needed to find. Or better yet, it finds us.
Anne is a member of my tribe. I recognized this while reading Bird by Bird, and felt it again that night—first during her book signing and later when we serendipitously shared an elevator at the hotel where we were both staying.
Eight years have passed since that meeting, and now I’m on the cusp of turning fifty-one.
Birthdays always prompt me to reflect on timelines—both the ones we set for ourselves and the ones life nudges us along. Back in 2017, I was doggedly searching for my health and anxious as hell about whether I could make this writing business work.
So much has changed. Once straight and dyed to match my natural color, my hair now curls wildly in silver. My fledgling freelance business has taken off. I’ve accumulated more publications and taught thousands of students. And yet, the books I’ve labored over are still in progress.
It’s easy to say that creative work takes time, trials, and patience. But living that process? Much harder. Sometimes, my ego shouts in my ear: Get this stuff done. Prove to the world that you’re a bona fide writer.
But what does that mean?
According to Liz Morrow and Ariel Curry, authors of the craft book Hungry Authors:
“Hungry authors will stop at nothing to achieve their vision. They have gumption, drive, and a certain stick-with-it-ness that compels them to keep going even when the odds are stacked against them.”
I have stick-with-it-ness in spades. I’ve written one novel, two memoirs, and part of a craft book. The novel, while terrible, taught me I could finish a book. The first memoir helped heal foundational wounds. The second has tested my endurance during the submission process. My ego wants to tell you that it landed a deal with a Big Four publisher.
Instead, I discovered it needs one more revision before I send it to small presses.
Before I could revise it, I needed to rediscover the joy of writing. That came through an essay collection on near-death experiences—a project that whispered writemewritemewritingme until I had no choice but to begin.
So, I’m doing what I tell all authors to do: follow your creative impulses. They know your true timeline better than you do.
But timelines aren’t just about the goals we set for ourselves; they also govern our writing projects.
I regularly help authors explore the timelines for their memoirs, guiding them through front story (the primary narrative) and backstory (the context that gives your story depth).
Some memoirs focus on a narrow timeline, like Mary Karr’s The Liars’ Club, Debra Gwartney’s Live Through This, or Jayson Greene’s Once More We Saw Stars. Others, like Strip: A Memoir by Hannah Sward or Lara Lillibridge’s The Truth About Unringing Phones span decades. A few, like Starry Field by Margaret Juhae Lee and Secrets We Kept by Krystal Sital, cross generations.
My new book begins a few hours after my birth, when I stopped breathing and ends forty years later. That’s a wide timeline to navigate.
To manage such expanses, writers must master the two axes of time while developing skills in navigating timelines, such as jumping through time and compressing material so that everything is as potent as possible. On April 16th, I’ll teach these skills during Managing the Present in Memoir. For a sneak peek, look for my next guest post on Jane Friedman’s blog, which will be published on April 10th.
Some of that time management work occurs in the messy middle of the revision process—the stage after you’ve completed your first draft but before you’ve fully shaped your story. While that’s the period where structure and timelines take center stage, we’re always working with them.
Since my latest project is still in its first draft, I don’t know if it will become a thematically driven essay collection or a memoir-in-essays arranged in loose chronological order. I just know that if I trust the creative process, the answer will emerge.
So how can you navigate your story’s timeline?
For Beginners:
Identify your timeline and write. Begin each session with a grounding ritual—meditation, walking, lighting incense, taking a few deep breaths. End by offering gratitude for whatever came through.
For Messy Middle Writers:
Use the following questions to sort your material:
- Is this part of my journey or backstory?
- What points does it make?
- What themes does it carry?
- What shape is it taking?
Then organize your timeline using Lara Lillibridge’s guidance in her brilliant post, “Turn Your Short Pieces into a Finished Nonfiction Book”
For Final Stage Writers:
You’ll know you’ve hit this phase when your manuscript feels separate from you. It’s no longer your story—it’s a story. Invite play into your process. Rearrange sections. Use word count challenges to cut ruthlessly. Practice patience as the story finds its final form.
Whatever stage you’re in, accept that memoir revision mirrors life: two steps forward, one step back. Just when you think you’ve arrived, you may find yourself revisiting an earlier stage. That’s the creative process—and when you embrace it, you give your work (and yourself) space to breathe.
In those moments, you can pause and whisper, “Hallelujah anyway,” because the timeline may not be what you expected, but it’s always right on time. Embracing this practice and letting the work find you can help you stay motivated as you always—always—write on.
Warmly,
Lisa
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